I am fortunate in that I have two sets of wonderful women friends. One group made up of cool chicks formed in the unlikely setting of Real Estate Agents who normally would be at each others throats in this competitive setting; the other group, quoted here, are cool chicks from high school – no wait, TR and NN are oddly enough, cool chicks I met online via my friends from high school. Here is a transcript of a recent e-conversation typical of our banter. LLA is me. A red wagon is our metaphor for “I don’t get it.” No further explanation is necessary.
LLA: Hi, Don’t know if you remember me or not. My name is Linda and I used to email you guys pretty regularly….. Ha. So, are you guys just really busy, or did emailing get boring without me? Oh, and check out my “blog.” How strange, how new wave, how not me, but yet here it is. Yes, I have a Blog. I do so wish there was another name for it. I’m almost embarrassed to say the word. Anyway, I’ve also got a goal of 500 words a day to keep, so I’m furiously writing at 3:18a.m and will begin to post things already written as I begin to dry up, but just because you’ve been so supportive, (lucky you) I’ll let you know this exists so you can read if you want. Woopee. http://straightupandslightlydirty.blogspot.com/
TR: what’s a blog?….
NN: Oh, I remember you! You were the one that kept us all in stitches (or complete confusion) with your witty tales. A blog, how exciting! Although I don’t have time today to read it, I have kept it as one of my “favorites” so if I have a moment I can jump on and give it a read. Don’t expect a reply from KS for a few more days. They are in Yellowstone this week.
TR: Hi NN..how grows your tomatoe plant?
NN: The Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!! They are both over 8 feet tall! The Early Girl has over 100 tomatoes on it and the Cherry tomato has over 200! I have no doubt they will all get ripe at the same time too. Know any good bulk tomato recipes? Sauce or something that can be frozen?! It is the hummingbird poop I tell ya!
LLA: Ooooo goody! KS will come home to 268 emails – I can just hear her now… “Oh FFS!” NN you are such a nice person to take her off the list, but me being just as nice, well, I just put her right back on. Wouldn’t want her to miss out on one teensy tiny detail! 8 foot tall tomaties?!?!? Girl, they are gonna pull up their own roots some night and walk into your house demanding celery salt and vodka! Oh, and if you’re really interested, here is a link to a fascinating report on an analysis of hummingbird poop http://www.hiltonpond.org/ThisWeek040808.html – complete with pictures no less! C’mon, admit it, you missed me didn’t you?
NN: Well, OF COURSE we missed you. Where else would we get this useful information? Celery salt and vodka, hahahahaha! Although if you saw the size of the plants you might not be laughing. I might have to start locking the door! By the way, I didn’t take KS off, it must have been TR. Hmmm….. Oh, by the way, that website is kind of disgusting. I am going to wash those tomatoes really well.
TR: Hahaha the humming bird poop! very impressive my dear …you and Mike have a very GREEN thumb so to anyone interested…BBQ by the lake on August 20th for red head Pam’s birthday ( Lamar;’s girlfriend) the lake is open for swimming and the bar is open for the non- swimmers…3pm on…bring a chair bring a dish, bring booze
KW: WELL, I NEVER! I certainly do TOO answer your e-mails. Well, maybe not all of them. But by the time I get to sit down and go through my e-mails, I’m so tired I need to be put out of my misery. So, I did cruise your blog. And there’s something I’ve been thinking about for awhile now. We’re both quick-witted and well written, but for as long as I can remember, I was quick with the verbal wit and you were quick with the written wit (say that 10 times real fast). I can blurt something funny out in a heartbeat but it takes me awhile to put it to words. You, however, can think it and then write it so effortlessly. I can’t do that because I’m a born editor and have to scrutinize everything BEFORE I accept it, instead of just pounding it out and scrutinizing it later. So I think you should write a book about us growing up. I’ve always thought our life stories, separately and together, would make a great novel of the late 20th Century. Whaddya think?