Having exposed one set of friends, I feel obligated to equally expose the other. Herewith are my obviously food obsessed Upper Midwestern girlfriends – deep in the throes of planning a late summer get together – let’s listen in:
CY: Hello friends – I thought we should start planning our little lake get-together. Don’t take offense guys but I’m sure I don’t need to remind anyone of the importance of keeping this quiet. It’s not that we want to hurt anyone’s feelings; there are just some people we don’t want to spend the day with – deal with it. I have, and I’m guilt free. LAKE DAY-MONDAY, AUGUST 15 Anytime after 10:30 a.m. LH and I were talking, and decided the theme for the day should be HEALTHY EATING (however, that means healthy for us as opposed to healthy for a healthy person). LH has decided she will bring deviled eggs (relatively healthy) and possibly some cheese (hopefully not that brie stuff, just something normal like cheddar – that would be Gouda!) LOL! Just so we don’t get too carried away with this health kick we think LD should bring cheese cake. I will be bringing vegetables and dip-because vegetables were made for dip. And besides, nobody really wants to feel the furry stuff on broccoli. Please feel free to explore the possibilities of other healthy options while ensuring that we won’t be disappointed by taste and talk about you the next time you miss tour. I have the makings for Mrs. Rinke’s World Famous Long Island T’s. I’ll have to check the cabin to see what else I have. I’m pretty sure there’s a couple of bottles of Chardonnay, however probably not Kendall Jackson! And there’s always beer. You can see who this has been sent to. If you have any other suggestions, feel free to bring that person’s name up for a vote/discussion. If you can’t make it, we’ll miss you and we promise NOT to talk about you. P.S.-Begin making your list of topics of discussion/items of business-just so we don’t run out of shit to talk about.
1. TC’s next visit.
LLA: First… Wear the fox hat. (… if you don’t get it – improvise) Second… I for one got excited during the first part where CY was handing out food assignments, and then was sorely disappointed when I was not assigned something. As you know, I lack imagination, so therefore cannot function without an assignment. Left to my own devices I may bring something like Peter Pancakes with Lost Boysenberry syrup, or something way more inappropriate. To save this event from culinary disaster I beg you, please assign me a food or drink! Something totally in keeping with the theme of course.
LH: Okay, I feel the need to defend my anal, party-planning self. I suggested the food assignments so CY wouldn’t feel compelled to provide all for all. And also so we don’t all show up with only veggies. Can’t wait. I’ve got a couple extra floaties if anyone needs ‘em. Tell me though, or I won’t bring extras. CAN’T WAIT! Does anyone besides LLA know what PETER PANCAKES are??
CY: Let it be known that I never thought planning the food would be a bad thing. I love planning, I just don’t want to come across as being bossy. It sounds much better (and less bossy) coming from LH. OK you two goofs. We’ll think of something for you to bring. I neglected to mention we have the makings for a nice “buttery nipple” also. God, I love saying that! I don’t know what the hell Peter Pancakes are or where the fox they are at. I just thought it was another by-product of LLA’s overactive imagination.
LD: I don’t know what they are either, but I’m coming up with some great visuals….
LLA: They are pancakes that stay rather flat I assume… get it? Or perhaps ones that never grow (M)old in the back of your refrigerator! Hahahahahahahaha!! I made it up – you silly anal-party-planner!
CY: God, we’re getting so weird! I’m starting a new e-mail to make an important announcement. As LH and I talked about food assignments (yes, LH, I am once again implicating you) we also explored the thought of extending our highly sought after invitations to others that have piqued our interest. No, I’m not talking about PH, since she was already invited-whom I will say has been suspiciously quiet during all of this. I hope this doesn’t mean we can’t trust her; perhaps she’s merely frightened… Anyway, I took the liberty of inviting GD. Anyone who can pound back that many beers may eventually have good shit to talk about. I did convey to GH the importance of keeping this coveted invitation on the down-low. Gotta go, I’m on vacation. P.S. Somebody please come up with ideas for food for JN and LLA since their brains are just too full of whatever it is they think about all day!