Going Postal in Goleta

My 30 year high school reunion is scheduled for July of this year. This means two things – the first thing is, that I have to lose 30 pounds and tone up my flabby arms and abs without seeming to actually care about whether or not this magical transformation takes place; the second thing is that I get to see my 3 best friends in person.

The first thing, although worrying about it, and goal planning, and rationalizing missed deadlines, does take up most of my waking hours, is not really the most important – seeing all three of my bestest friends in the whole wide world is – and there is danger of this not happening, a danger almost as real as me not losing 30 pounds.

Toad and Tami are on board with me, but Wheat, only recently having relocated from our home town, is now finding it hard to rationalize returning. I understand her reluctance, even more so in light of Goleta’s recent press – which prompted this email volley…

To: Wheat; Margeaux
From: Toad
Subject: Going postal in Goleta

Go figure…..
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11107022/

To: Toad; Wheat
From: Margeaux
Subject: Going postal in Goleta

I KNOW! I finally got through to SB Newspress and looked at the victims
names… no one I knew, but jee golly willikers, that’s a little close
to home! No official word on who the shootist was yet, but I’m hoping
it’s NOT a menopausal DP alumnus, class of 76!

To: Toad; Margeaux
From: Wheat
Subject: Going postal in Goleta

Maybe her coworkers were trying to make her go to her 30th high school reunion. hee hee hee hee heeeeeee they’re coming to take me away ha ha ho ho hee hee to the funny farm where life is wonderful all the time and all the men wear clean white coats……yeah I know….I’m going to hell……

To: Toad; Wheat
From: Margeaux
Subject: Going postal in Goleta

Um, no…. you’re going to your 30th high school reunion… which, I realize could be likened to hell in some ways… but if you really think about it, if it really is hell, then hell really isn’t such a bad place after all now is it?

One thought on “Going Postal in Goleta

  1. We will not care if you lose 30 pounds or not. As a matter of fact, if you lose 30 pounds, then you'll make me feel like sh!t, so I'll have to lose 35 pounds to make you feel like sh!t, then Wheat will show up looking great without losing any pounds, thereby making all of us feel like sh!t. I say f*ck it and don't lose any pounds. That's what friends are for…..;-)Toad.

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