Today I had a cheese sandwich

So I tried to make a new blog on MSN’s spaces. Heck I can’t even figure out how to post to it! That stuff is nonsense.

So, since every day I whack myself upside the head and say ‘why didn’t you just write down your feelings yesterday, then you’d have something to build on?’ I figured I’d just go ahead and write down my feelings from today.

I’m reading Suzanne Sommers newest tome, Ageless. Not that I’d really ever seek out the knowledge of Chrissy from Three’s a Crowd, but having seen her talk about her book on one of the morning news programs, what she had to say really struck a chord in me. It’s all about hormone replacement, and it makes a lot of sense. Last year at this time, I was going through major mondo stress because we had two mortgages and one house was not selling! This stress, coupled with the beginning stages of perimenopause caused me to think that I was headed for the looney bin. Well, once the house sold, and I got some sleep and exercise and fresh air and drank water once in a while instead of vodka, things started to look a little better. But here we are in October again, and darned if I’m not feeling the hot flashes, the glowering resentment of practically anyone who dares interrupt what I’m doing – even if its vacuuming – and the loss of interest in anything! Its starting to look like a cycle. So I’m really interested in the bioidentical hormone replacement therapy she talks about. The only thing that bothers me is – well two things… this looks expensive, and it looks like this is a long term committment.

OK, that’s backdrop number one – two be built on in later posts. And now for backdrop number two….

I really think I want to write. A story, a really truly novel. I get dumb fragments of ideas and they are starting to bug me. Like little imaginary salesmen knocking on my door when I’m doing really important stuff,… like vacuuming (see backdrop number one). I MUST MUST MUST start writing these little fragment salesmen down…. and, as usual, when my fingers area firmly engaged in the asdf jkl; my mind is a blank. BUT! With this post as a backdrop, I can post ideas and not have to delve into the tedious pre-story I always feel obligated to divulge before the idea germ can be born.

Backdrop number two – done. Backdrop number three… ah yes, like the third ghost in A Christmas Carol, more mercurial and harder to pin down….

I think that it may be a combination of the previous two – this need in me to write down what happens in my life and feel like it’s private, but yet there’s the chance that some anonymous person may read this and comment and yes, I have to admit its the feedback that I simultaneously crave and fear.

OK – so thats it for now.

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