COLD

60 Degrees Above Zero

  • Californians turn on the heat.
  • People in North Dakota plant gardens.

50 Degrees Above Zero

  • Californians shiver uncontrollably.
  • People in Fargo sunbathe.

40 Degrees Above Zero

  • Italian and English made cars won’t start.
  • People in Minnesota drive with the windows down.

32 Degrees Above Zero

  • Distilled water freezes.
  • The water in Fargo/Moorhead gets thicker.

20 Degrees Above Zero

  • Californians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats.
  • People in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt.

15 Degrees Above Zero

  • New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
  • People in North Dakota have the last cookout before it gets cold.

Zero

  • People in Miami all die.
  • Iowans close the windows.

5 Degrees BELOW Zero

  • Californians fly away to Mexico.
  • People in Minnesota get out their winter coats.

10 Degrees BELOW Zero

  • Hollywood disintegrates.
  • The Girl Scouts in North Dakota are selling cookies door to door.

20 Degrees BELOW Zero

  • Washington DC runs out of hot air.
  • People in Minnesota let the dogs sleep indoors.

30 Degrees BELOW Zero

  • Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
  • People in Fargo get upset because they can’t start the minivan.

40 Degrees BELOW Zero

  • Atomic motion slows down.
  • People in Fargo/Moorhead start saying “So, is it cold enough for ya?”

50 Degrees BELOW… (Bee FREAKIN’ LOW) ZERO!

  • Hell freezes over.
  • Fargo Public Schools open 2 hours late. (maybe)

One thought on “COLD

  1. Hilarious post!! Once it gets to -40, Canadian girls start pulling out the pants and grumbling that they just found their favourite skirt but now can't wear it. Because if it's -38 skirts are still acceptable.. -40, well… skirt wearing just seems crazy

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