Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained

After a trip to New York a couple of years ago, I was regaling my BFF Kimisue with an hilarious email about my adventures purse shopping in the black market warehouses with my two gay boyfriends. If you’ve never had the black market experience while visiting the big apple, you would shake your head upon hearing about it, because it sounds dangerous. Its really not, though I wouldn’t have done it by myself for the first time. Suffice it to say that its a little like prostitution, a little like a swap meet, a little like a spy movie …. and… you get name brand designer purses for really cheap!

So, back to the hilarious email, which took an unexpected turn, as most of our email conversations do. Kimisue kept the email for some reason, and upon hearing about my recent jobless situation, forwarded it to me with the subject:

It’s Time.



KIMISUE: OK, so are the NY warehouses OK to Share? Can we tell someone else how to shop there or do you HAVE to have gay men with you???



LINDA: Oh honey, when shopping in New York it is ALWAYS better to be with a gay man, or two even … no more than two though because then it just gets too gay and they forget you are there.



KIMISUE: Wow! Sweet! I wanna go too! Can you rent gay men?



LINDA: I don’t think there is a Gay-Man-Escort-For-Straight-Women service… but wouldn’t that just be a hoot? I’ll talk to my gay friend about that. Hey, maybe that’s my next venture capital project! You’d be my partner right? In a non-gay, business kind of way of course.



KIMISUE: That’s our new business! YESSS! Here’s the commercial… Ladies, does your husband want to stay home instead of going dancing? Well, he wont let you go out with just ANY man, but what husband would have a problem if you went out with a Gay Man?! And what gay man doesn’t like to dance? Or let him take you shopping!