How to Make Dirty Martini Ice Cream

Disclaimer:  This product is still in Beta testing…

Step One:

Invite two of the most creative and ADD people you know, over for dinner.  DMIC5

Ply them with wine before during and after.  Wait for a lull in the conversation then mention your hairbrained scheme to invent a new adult treat – Dirty Martini Ice Cream.

Step Two:

Pick yourself up after being blown out of your chair as everyone stampedes into the kitchen.  Catch stray bottles of ketchup,  egg cartons, and frozen chicken as three people rummage through the fridge and freezer looking for ingredients.

Step Three:


In a blender, combine the following unlikely ingredients:


  • 1/2 jar each calamata olives and green pimiento stuffed olives
  • 1 package of cream cheese
  • 1/2 cup Bombay Sapphire Gin
  • 1/4 cup granulated sugar

Pour mixture into shallow baking sheet, then place in freezer.  Be sure to move the frozen strawberries so they don’t pass out drinking the mixture when the door is shut.


Meanwhile, make a simple syrup by boiling water and sugar until it thickens.


Remove from heat, add another 1/2 cup Bombay Sapphire Gin. Ignore purists who may at this point holler that you are wasting perfectly good gin – Note to self, next time use Vodka.


Step Four:

Play Balderdash, Taboo, and Apples to Apples while the booze laden ice cream is not freezing, drink more wine and gin.

Step Five:

Finally… find every martini glass in the house and put them all into the freezer to chill, since obviously the ice cream part is never going to harden.


and scoop a generous dollop of  the frozen mixture, which smells faintly of gym socks, into everyones glass.  Ladle generous amounts of gin into the glass, then drizzle the simple syrup over the top.


At this point, I would normally say “Enjoy!”  …but, in all honesty, I have to admit that no matter how much gin you ladle in, it is not good, not good at all.


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