Day 16 – An Exercise in Transformation

designFinally, after 16 days of completing 5 specific daily tasks (and, the all important act of publicly blogging about it), I am beginning feel change!   Not big, earth shattering changes, more like tiny mental adjustments, even as small as a shift in the habitual neural pathways of my brain. This is not the change I expected when beginning this.  Actually, I don’t think I had any real expectation beyond making myself stick to something when it got hard, or I got bored with it.

16 days ago, I certainly wouldn’t have categorized myself as an angry person, but if I had to put a name on the change I feel, it would have to be less angry! And as much as I hate to admit it, I think it’s because of the thing that scared (and still scares) me the most about this challenge… the Random Act of Kindness.  I make all kinds of excuses, every day about this task.  I don’t see enough people.  The people I do see aren’t in need enough.  I’m already kind, why should I be kinder?

Well, as it turns out, and which may be totally obvious to anyone else – EVERYONE needs kindness, AND you can never be too kind.  Imagine that!

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Exercise:  In addition to housework (which I totally consider to be exercize) I did 40 minutes of yoga.

Meditation:  As I mentioned yesterday, I’m pretty sure I’m doing this all wrong.  I CAN NOT get a hold of my mind/thoughts enough to concentrate on “the nothing.”  On the bright side, I’m getting 15 to 20 minutes of quiet/me time, so I’ve got that going for me.

Gratitude:

1.  I am very thankful today that Downtown Dad and I took the arduous path of paying off all of our debts.  It wasn’t an immediate (cue the angel chorus) debt-free, our-entire-paycheck-is-unaccounted-for thing.  In fact, it’s taken from the first of this year until now for us to be able to feel like we have that elusive thing called ‘disposable income.’  But this weekend, we took a few more steps to creating our grownup living room by buying two chairs and a coffee table.

2.  I am thankful for hindsight

3.  I am thankful for the opportunity to be friends with people who’s emotions and history run deep.

Act of Kindness:  Again, I feel like I’m digging deep for this one – but I wouldn’t have considered it kindness at all 16 days ago…  I held my tongue, and just listened, when my daughter came home crying after a fight with her boyfriend. (whom she mostly lives with, and whom we have only met briefly).  Not spouting I-told-you-sos, is very hard for me.  Listening is an inch-by-inch process.  To be continued…

One Good Thing:   The best thing today was finding a very cool app called WordSwag, that makes stunning graphics like the one above, on my iPhone!

12 thoughts on “Day 16 – An Exercise in Transformation

  1. You know, a couple of days ago, I posted a comment about your random acts of kindness in the car, ie. not screaming at people when they drive horribly or do stupid things. Today I found myself totally yelling at the person driving in front of me until I thought of my comment here. Got a good laugh at my own expense. So consider me your random act of kindness because if not for your blog post, I would have contained to drive down the street acting like a complete idiot in my car. Thank you!

    • It’s been surprisingly hard. But the “peer pressure” thing is what has kept me at it. I waited til I was this far in to share with y’all. Now I REALLY can’t give up! Seriously, read Randy’s blog – it’s over now, but it was really inspiring!

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